Before today's Pulitzer Prize worthy blog post, here's the rant of the day. We got a bit of snow here, about 6". That didn't stop NYC Mayor Mike (quick get a camera crew) Bloomberg from holding a press conference about the snow! This guy is becoming a pain in the ass, and I'm not even in New York.
Here's today's irregularly scheduled post:
Last week, the lottery hit a third of a billion dollars. Since my retirement plan is a dollar and a dream, I started to imagine what I'd do if I won. Here's my list:
1. Fur toilet seats for cold mornings
2. Solid gold snow shovel for Mrs. C (she does deseve the best)
3. A Rolls Royce and have it modified into a pick up truck, with a gun rack.
4. A new home with a moat and drawbridge.
5. An Italian restuarant, so I can have seating for 12 when the Mrs and I go out. I like to move around when I eat.
1b. A security force (army) of clowns armed with Uzis that shoot silly string.
2b. 1000 Elvis impersonators to sing Happy Birthday to me every morning.
3b. A baker to bake the world's largest coconut cream pie. (Why? Remember that army of clowns?)
Lastly, I'd acquire a few towns, and rename them after body parts.
Like Naughty Bits, Kentucky. Nah, I'd probably name them all Naughty Bits. I'd also send a check for $3.92 each to all my regular commentors like Sandee, Maritess, MB, LL, Reffie, Janna, Don, and FishHawk.
Labels: Mayor Bloomberg sucks, Pulitzer Prize, shoveling snow